Human viruses..

[hobbitomm]

Seemingly a necessary thing to do is to virus scan regularly. Ah, what surprises Human Virus Scanner
The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

USA
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]


Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.


Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.


Cthulhu
Read some Enid Blyton.


Gaming
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.


BBCB
CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."


Religion
Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)


8-Bit
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.


British
No need for cure. Benign virus.


Discordia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.


Politics
Stop caring!


Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.


Computer Games
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.


Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Goth (65%)
Grow up. Let your roots grow out. Listen to Britney.


Hippyism (78%)
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.


Environmentalism (63%)
Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.


Macintosh (60%)
Use a mouse with more than one button.


Cars (75%)
There just hunks of metal which go real fast. Ride a bike through London at rush hour.


Southampton (69%)
Move to the Isle of Wight.